Sunday, August 2, 2009

Feminine Integration: Can we leave abandonment behind?

Today feels a little auspicious in that I have decided to begin a blog--something I really didn't imagine mysefl doing and am still a little hesitant about. My decision came after I heard various women in my circle saying to me, "Funny you should say that; that's what I've been dealing with," or "That really resonates with me," or, "How did you know?" It became clear to me a number of us were going through similar emotional issues simultaneously, and, in my perception, are truly on the leading edge of a transpersonal transformation that extends far beyond our individual selves.

The current process I believe we are in began about two months ago, when it seemed that every woman in my circle of friends, myself included, was dealing with issues of abandonment by men in their lives. This took various forms and happened in various ways, but the underlying issue was the same in every case. Many of us, two months ago, were feeling abandoned in some way by some man who was significant in our lives.

As I began to acknowledge this for myself and work through my feelings, I received a significant gift from a man whom I have never met and have only spoken with one time. This very special man gave me the insight that I needed to help me understand what was happening. Highly intuitive, he began to share with me his insight. He told me that as a child, the feminine was not highly valued in my family and as a result, I had abandoned my more feminine gifts and focused on developing my mind and intellect. He went on to share that the little girl in me, who came into this world with all these feminine gifts, felt abandoned by me and was actually feeling quite lonely.

As he spoke the words, I could feel the truth of them. I knew then that the abandonment I had experienced recently with a very dear friend of mine was simply a reflection of my own abandonment of all of my feminine gifts so many years ago. As I write this, I'm smiling because I am actually a very girlie-girl and it seems a little ironic for me to be writing about my abandonment of the feminine. But the feminine I am speaking of, and still haven't fully defined for myself, goes much farther than what many of us have traditionally defined as feminine. It includes intuition and sensitivity, but I have the sense that it goes so much deeper than that. I acutally can't wait to see how my understanding of this feminine unfolds over the next several months. But, I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

As I began to work with the new understanding and committed myself to accepting and integrating any feminine aspects of myself that I may have chosen to abadon as a child, I again noticed that many of the women in my circle were moving into this phase as well. I had a very strong sense that individually and collectively, as we women move into true acceptance and integration of this aspect of ourselves, we are actually part of a global movement, one that is affecting the very core energy of our planet. This new phase, integration, and acceptance may last for one to two years for many of us. I am excited to see how it all unfolds, not just for me, but for us all.

So, here's to us--women on the leading edge--and here's to the men who love us and are supporing us (we hope!) as we go through this transformation. And here's to greater understanding and even further transformation as we join together to support each other through this process. In that spirit, I welcome your comments, not just to me, but to the others who may be reading this blog as well.

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